HAHAHA. The last line's the best

Should you think this is somehow about me, you're mistaken. Shame on you, you should know I don't really wear white.

One Year

So here I am, exactly one year after I quit school and moved back to Atlanta from Spain. Here I am in Los Angeles writing about it. Thinking about the past year is pretty bittersweet, possibly more bitter than sweet, though I think my current situation is probably coloring that view. Here's why: I left school because I hated it and, as I explained to my advisor, I thought that I should be happy in both the work and personal/social parts of my life. I was happy with the social stuff (assuming everything would just fall back into place once I got back to the States, I guess), but I was very unhappy with school. So I left and that is still one of the best decisions I've ever made. Unfortunately, that good decision I think was followed by a whole slew of bad decisions which have ultimately lead me to where I am now: unhappy with both my personal/social and work lives. I know I need to have patience though. With the amount of change that I've experienced lately, of course everything is in turmoil. But those of you that know me well know that I am one of the least patient people around, so it's hard.

People say to me, "Well at least you're in LA, where you've always wanted to be," and that's kind of depressing because moving back here, though I do love it, made me realize that the place is not really the most important thing. Relationships--with friends, boyfriends, family--that's what really does it for me. And apologies to my family, but I know they'll always be there for me as long as they're alive, so I've already taken them somewhat for granted. So here I am with all of my best friends thousands of miles away and an ex-boyfriend that I wish was a current boyfriend who finds it too difficult to talk to me much (I could go on and on about this--what is it about guys and not being able to talk because it's too painful?? Both of my exes have said this to me and I saw the Savages last weekend and Philip Seymour Hoffman's character did it in that too!). The situation--my life, that is--is less than stellar.

So it looks like another renaissance for me, starting a year after my last renaissance. Slowly but surely, I have to remake my life into something that I love. It's fucking exhausting.